So, back to love. It is strange, but beautiful. There is this idea that we are supposed to love ourselves before we can love others. To some extent I think this is true.
Essentially, we first learn to love from our parents. The way they care for us and speak sweet nothings into our ears as we grow up becomes our inner voice, and eventually the way we give and receive love. Unfortunately, sometimes, it is unhealthy. Though, in my personal experience I have had the opportunity to meet people who taught me how to love myself, and I think within that time I learned what it is like to love someone without conditions.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I didn't know I needed to love myself, but can anyone honestly say at this very moment with their hand raised high that they love themselves?
It's a journey in my opinion until you get there and love yourself fully - in your complete entirety. You may love bits and pieces of yourself, but it takes patience to love yourself fully. Thankfully, I think my friends have helped me start that journey.
I know I do not give myself enough credit. I am driven. I am ambitious. I am sensitive. I am understanding. I am forgiving. I am intelligent. I am passionate. I am hardworking. I am social. I am funny. I am strong. I am love. And love is me.
Love is many things. And because it is many things, I believe many people can experience it. There is something about love that makes it all inclusive.
Sometimes it is said that our suffering can teach us things and even bless others in the process. I believe through my suffering I have had the opportunity to experience love without conditions and have learned to love others in that same way. It's so beautiful.
If nothing else during this year and a half of suffering, through my humanness I have not only found deeper compassion in myself that I otherwise would have never known, I have also learned to help carry the crosses of others as it has been done for me. To me that is part of loving someone without conditions. Showing up, regardless of what the circumstances look like. Why? Because life happens and sometimes life is not all about the good experiences and memories, but the tough and heart wrenching trials. More often than not, during times of suffering, most people - including myself - have learned who truly loves us. Simply for just being ourselves, regardless of our current circumstances, they love us.
I have also learned that love is not only words and feelings, but actions.
Learn to carry another's cross. Show up and sit in the pain with the people you love and care about. Maybe even show up for people you do not know that well, because they too may be suffering.
Let’s face it, you do not have to exclude love from strangers. You can assure people that you'll be there to walk alongside them and lift up the other side of their cross when it is too much weight to bare.
It is no one's job to fix me, and it is certainly not my job to fix others. But if there is one thing I do know by now, it is that I am here to love on those who share in suffering, and walk alongside them. I am here to sit in the discomfort of the unknowing, the heartbreak, and pain to cry and mourn like it has been done for me.