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To You: The One Afraid Of Coming On Too Strong

I was raised in a proud Sicilian family. If you know what that means, you know we are anything, but quiet. I have a lot of opinions, and I am not shy to express them. Sometimes I say the wrong thing and I don't even realize it. Other times, I say too much. Others do not always know how to process what is coming out of my mouth, because the words are flowing like a river. I was always raised to stand up for what I believed in, and if the shoe didn't fit, not only wasn't I going to wear it, I was going to explain why I wasn't.

This can be intimidating for a lot of people. Not everyone knows what to say or how to say it. I have been gifted with the use of my words, but not everyone is a river like me. Not everyone knows how to speak from their soul and express themselves in a way that makes them feel seen and heard. And that is okay. I think every person has something unique about them, something beautiful about them, that helps them communicate in the way they need to. Mine, just happens to be my words.

I know that my words have scared people off before, and it is painful for me sometimes when people don't understand what I am trying to convey. I don't mean to come off too strong; I am not trying to scare anyone away. I swear I am not a monster, more like a gentle giant. I believe in the power of words. They can move you forward or backward, depending on how you choose to use them. Maybe that is why I chose to be a therapist, so that I could use my words to help move others in the direction they want to be moved in.

If you are anything like me, you know exactly what I am talking about. The boy who doesn't text back because he is intimidated by someone who knows themselves as well as you know yourself. The guy who says you're "too much" because you answered his question honestly at dinner. I guess he was expecting you to give the 1930s version of the answer, where you just simply smiled and asked for his help solving all your problems. Luckily for you, you're smarter than that.

I spent a good part of my life not being heard by those around me so when I found my voice I refused to let the lion be tamed. And the truth of the matter is, I am not sorry if that scares you away. I am not sorry if that is too much for you to handle. I am not asking you to handle me in the first place. I don't need a calculated response to my words, just the acknowledgment that you listened is fine by me. Don't know what to say? Take my hand. It really is that simple. I may be a woman of many words, but I am also a simple woman, and it doesn't take much to make me happy. When I am in a bad mood, just show me a picture of a dog; problem solved. It doesn't take an elaborate scheme. You would know that if you listened to me.

Don't ever apologize for being who you are. I once read a Rupi Kaur poem that read something like, If you are broken, and they have left you do not question whether you were enough. The problem was you were so enough they were not able to carry it. Don't ever compromise your character for someone who can't carry it. You only get one voice, let it be heard from every street corner and every mountain top. If he can't handle it, he isn't the one for you.


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