There’s a reason that wedding vows include the statement, “in good times and in bad”, because life is life, and tough times are unavoidable. Even when your relationship feels perfect, there are things that happen outside the little world you two have built for yourselves that will cause discontent and frustration. For me, he’s never been the cause of any unpleasantness, but he’s unfortunately had to deal with a less than happy version of me on more than one occasion.
I can be a stubborn person, so when I’m in a bad mood, I just want to be cranky and complain about the world. The problem with being in a relationship with someone that loves you is that they do not allow you to do this. When I’m upset about something, no matter how big or how small, he will always go out of his way to cheer me up. I’ve settled into my relationship to the point so that when I am in a bad mood, just his presence is usually enough to keep me calm. As I sit next to him and try to remain angry at the world, I will look into his eyes and realize this feeling will not last long. He brings a light into my life that shines so bright, I cannot help but feel at peace when I’m around him.
I recently had an off week where I was not quite feeling myself. As the days went on, this off feeling turned into an overwhelming sense of sadness, and I couldn’t seem to identify its source. My daily activities seemed infinitely harder and hiding my discontent was consuming more energy than I had. So when a few minor inconveniences began to pile up, I felt unequipped to deal with them and felt myself breaking down. I tried to deal with things on my own as to not burden him with a problem I couldn’t even fully identify, but after several failed attempts I reached out to him for comfort. And I’m mad at myself for waiting to do it. I often forget the unconditional support he gives me, since it is still something I’m getting used to even after two years of dating. He never makes me feel guilty about being down some days, and even if he cannot directly help, he reassures me that he’s there for anything I may need.
The truth is, he cannot make all my problems go away. There are too many factors he cannot control, and some things I cannot explain because I do not fully comprehend them myself. But he has an incredible ability to empathize, and I know that he’ll never belittle my feelings even when he doesn’t understand why something makes me unhappy.
I recognize that I am often not the easiest person to deal with. Things tend to upset and frustrate me more than they should, and although I see this, it is not something I can easily turn off. But, he has accepted and embraced this part of me, and has opened himself up to always being the one to pick me up when I’m down.