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  • Writer's pictureNay

How To Pursue And Not Chase?

There is a common phrase, that you should chase the one you love. But, no one should be chasing anyone. No one should be rushing to and zeroing on another individual. It can be impulsive without much consideration on your part, and intimidating and excessive on their part. Instead of chasing, pursue.

1. Measure Your Interest

How much do you want to get to know this person? Be mindful about whether your interest may be temporary or open to growing. It is difficult to do, but trying to get some sort of gage will be helpful in the long run.

2. Energy & Time

Do you have the bandwidth to put effort into this pursuit? Some of us are busy with other obligations and responsibilities, not to mention the availability of the object of our affection, which may not be compatible for the immediate future. Taking all that into account will provide you a realistic view of the nature and length of this courtship.

3. Tactics

Think about the type of meet-ups you would like to have with this person, and how you can potentially make that happen. Think of alternative methods of interacting with each other, in case certain usual methods for yourself or not conducive for the other person. It is all about planning.

4. Opportunity

Insure that this person is in a position to be receptive to your interest. Ideally, this person should not have any other romantic attachments or complicated entanglements. In other words, perceptually, they need to be open to the prospect of you.

5. Go For It!

Be clear about your intentions and direct with your interest. It is okay to be unsure of your intentions, but be mindful of that, and disclose what you can disclose. Allow the other person to recognize the attention you want to give them, and determine if this connection is something mutually of interest to both of you. It is possible that once you get to know each other, you may think otherwise about your intentions, so be prepared for that possibility.

In a chase, things move fast, and are expected to move fast. But, in a pursuit, there are no timetables or concrete expectations for the nature of the courtship. You want to build a relationship, not throw one together.

You never know, the other person may be pursuing you. Be aware of that alternative, and see how you feel about their pursuit. Relationships come together in a multitude of ways, be vigilant and open to those different ways.

Chasing can place pressure on the other person and yourself. There is no need for additional obstacles in the formation of a relationship. Try to reduce those obstacles, and take premeditated action.

Why chase? Pursue.

Photo Credit: Paul Van Bloem


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