Still on the subject of love. It really is a beautiful thing. Since being 4 months post-transplant, I am now learning that this journey of self-love and loving others is not linear. But, is filled with high and lows, and peaks and valleys.
Not only is love not a noun, but it’s a verb! Did you know? Love is an occurrence that forces you to move and actively experience. Self-love in particular may look like you are booking yourself a massage, curling up in bed with a good book, treating yourself to your favorite meal, spending time with your favorite person, or just taking care of your health (which was my form of self-love).
There have been a lot of things I have had to learn, but I guess that is the beauty of being given a second chance at life. I get to be open to new ways of showing myself some love and learning how to show more love to others. Life is funny that way I guess, it allows you to go through things and sometimes you learn lessons, and sometimes it leaves you more confused and vulnerable with life. But, being vulnerable opens up your world to meeting beautiful people and experiencing beautiful moments. Throughout my illness and even now, I have met magical souls and experienced magical moments that I now hold dear that I otherwise would have not had the opportunity to do unless I had gotten ill. But don’t get me wrong, I do not wish to be ill ever again.
In a short time (but what ultimately felt like a lifetime), I have felt more love and support from friends, family, and strangers all for the common purpose to help me through this painful journey. I know that this opportunity I have been given will allow me to stop living and leading from a brokenness, and will allow me to live and lead from a place of love that runs so deep it reaches the depth of my soul. I will live and lead from a place so full of compassion it bursts at the seams and wholeness that allows me to fill those cracked and empty places I find in myself and in others. I am slowly realizing that there is beauty in pain and brokenness. In suffering, we find that it becomes one of the things that unifies people. No one is immune to it. At some point, there are people who fall deeper into their suffering, and then there are those who blossom into something new and strong. I like the latter. And so, I'll end with this…
Lean in and hold on to those willing to love you and love on you during those tough life moments. Be soooooo good to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend. You will begin to have significant appreciation for the mundane things in life, and love becomes the focus. You become love. Love becomes you. You exude love. It is because of the hardships in life that you have been through, that brings you to a moment in life that makes loving much more worthwhile, despite the possibility of getting hurt. That is inevitable. So, like one of my newly favorite poets has said, “Love lives high, it flies, and has the power to bring us all to new heights.”